Dictionary of Liberalism

Following are the true definitions of many words and phrases. Will be updated occasionally.

Carbon offsets (CAR-bun OFF-sets) n. A way for rich liberals to assuage their guilt about the contributions their SUV's make to "global warming". (See also Ordering a Diet Coke with your Double Whopper and large fries.)

Dhimmi (ZHIM-ee) n. A person who kowtows to Islamists, and encourages others to do the same. They are ususally used by Islamic extremists for political gains against the people they wish to kill. (See also Nancy Pelosi, Jimmy Carter.)

Dinosaur (DI-nuh-sor) n. A big, huge animal that used to rule its environment, but was too slow, stubborn and sluggish to change and adapt, thus ushering in its extinction. (See also New York Times, SeeBS News, Time Magazine.)

Global Warming (glo-BULL WARM-ing) n. The invention of a bunch of "scientists" who want to make you feel guilty for everything you do. One of the latest ploys by the liberal left to bring about the end of western civilization. (See also AlGore, ManBearPig, junk science.)

Liberal (LIB-er-al) n. A person who supports "freedom of speech" as long as they agree with what you're saying. If not, then it's "offensive" and should be outlawed, even though they think that "offensive" speech is protected by the Constitution. (See also Political Correctness.)

New Mexico (NOO MEX-i-co) n. A country bordered by the Atlantic Ocean, the Pacific Ocean, Canada, and the Rio Grande River. It was formerly known as the United States of America.

Truther (TROO-ther) n. Someone who clings desperately to a fading hope that President Bush might have known somebody who knew someone else who went to school with someone who once hired one of the 9/11 terrorists to work at his Tastee-Freeze. So, yes, it was Bush's fault. (See also Rosie O'Donnell, Charlie Sheen, Ron Paul.)

AlGore to visit Neptune

AP--"Former Vice-President AlGore will visit the planet Neptune, in an effort to pitch his new movie, "An Inconvenient Truth", to all Neptunians. "The global warming occuring on Neptune is an outrage! We need to rid Neptune of all her SUV's, and Neptunians need to make their carbon footprint smaller!"

Meanwhile, singer Sheryl Crow urged Neptunians to use only one square of toilet paper, so as to slow down the deforestation of their planet. At a speaking function, Ms. Crow and her friend Laurie David, tried tying the global warming trend on Neptune to an evil plot that was hatched by the Rove-Bushco-Halliburton machine."

Yes, folks, from 1980 through 2004, the planet Neptune experienced a significant amount of...GLOBAL WARMING!! (via Hot Air) Oh, and so did the planet Mars. So tell me, how many SUV's does the average citizen of these planets own? Are they enough to contribute to the shrinking ice caps on Mars? And where is Al "Chicken Little" Gore when these planets need them?

UPDATE: Originally I said that it was Mercury that was also experiencing "global warming". My bad. It was, indeed, Mars. I stand corrected.

AlGore's new book, "Assault on Reason" is really

an insult to our intelligence. I haven't read it, I'm not going to. I don't need some tree-hugging dirt-worshipper to tell me about some myth he has about "man-made global warming", when he himself spends over $1300 A MONTH on his light bill (But he buys carbon offsets!! That makes him wonderful!! Yeah, whatever. See definition of "carbon offsets" at the right). Well, apparently Joy "Hey, it's me!! the loudmouthed redhead from 'The View'" Behar has jumped, feet-first, into the swirling cesspool that is the mind of Al "ManBearPig" Gore. Once again, from The Anchoress:

I haven’t read the thing, itself, but I have now read several accounts of Al Gore’s new book, Assault on Reason, wherein he wags fingers at people who watch TV (unless, of course, they’re watching him pimp his book) and the media (particularly those who don’t stick to reporting only his side, of the “manmade” global warming story) and - by all accounts - he trashes the Bush 43 administration from start to finish, enumerating all of Bush’s “lies” and mistakes.

I’ve seen similar lists throughout the web - the collective is circulating it in order to really drill home to everyone who may not yet be fully convinced that George W. Bush is the worst, most evil man ever born from woman (if that is what Barbara Bush may be called) and also the stupidest evil super genius imaginable.

I read a transcript of the execrable morning program The View in which Joy Behar, a Gore-adoree of the first water, reads from one of these lists:

[...]

Oh, I think it’s definitely time. Let’s do it - let’s impeach President Bush, let’s have all of this brought forward and get it all investigated and put on the real, actual record, instead of in someone’s book of dreams and opinions or in a convenient, “bumperstickeresqe” meme. Let’s get all the tawdry lists and narratives together and finally get them “on the record and testified to.” We can start with the Gore/Behar list:

You really need to do yourself a favor and read her whole post. She goes through Ms. Behar's incoherent screed, point by point, and shatters all the myths and pipe dreams of all the sad little liberals.

Chicken Little gets PWN3D

Over at Flopping Aces, Curt has a great post about how the arguments for "man-made global warming" are being dissected, torn apart, and ripped to shreds by something called "science." Now, I know, liberlas don't like to hear the truth about such things. They'd rather have you believe that by driving to work, instead of riding your bike, that you are killing the poor, poor penguins in the Antarctic. But don't to use facts, or real science to try and convince these people. It only confuses them. They can only handle what AlGore fills their heads with.

Don't look for an Obama-Gore ticket anytime soon

What has been one of the top rallying cries for left-wingers this year? GLOBAL WARMING!!! CARBON FOOTPRINT!!! AAAAAGGGGHHH!!!

Well, next time maybe Barack Obama might have to take Laurie "All I did was get in Karl Rove's face while he was trying to eat dinner. Is that so wrong??" David and Sheryl "Brownfinger" Crowe along next time he goes car-shopping (via Brainster):

Sen. Barack Obama talks a good game. He also drives a good car, but the two are not entirely compatible.

The Democratic presidential contender was in Detroit on Monday, oozing charisma and environmental awareness as he chided local automakers for building too many big vehicles and not enough fuel-efficient hybrids.

So his choice to drive a V8 Hemi-powered Chrysler 300C emits a whiff of hypocrisy along with its exhaust fumes.

But we're supposed to all cram into a Toyota Prius.

Yeah, whatever.