Rove to resign, dKos begins drooling

Karl Rove--the mastermind behind the Bush II White House, 9/11, the Valarie Plame fiasco, the Iraq War, AIDS, Watergate, Hitler, and the War of 1812--will resign at the end of August (via WSJ Online):

Karl Rove is quitting the Bush White House.

In an interview with Wall Street Journal editorial page Editor Paul Gigot, Mr. Rove says he thinks "it's just time," that he's "got to do this for the sake of my family," and that he would have left earlier but didn't want to depart on the sour note of last fall's Republican rout by Democrats in the midterm elections. So effective Aug. 31, Mr. Rove says, he will relinquish the job of White House deputy chief of staff and longtime role of political overseer for the career of President Bush.

So to all you at the Daily Kooks Kos, the Puffington Host, and all the other rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth left -wing sites out there, you won't have to worry about ol' Rover pulling another 9/11 (/sarc).

AlGore to visit Neptune

AP--"Former Vice-President AlGore will visit the planet Neptune, in an effort to pitch his new movie, "An Inconvenient Truth", to all Neptunians. "The global warming occuring on Neptune is an outrage! We need to rid Neptune of all her SUV's, and Neptunians need to make their carbon footprint smaller!"

Meanwhile, singer Sheryl Crow urged Neptunians to use only one square of toilet paper, so as to slow down the deforestation of their planet. At a speaking function, Ms. Crow and her friend Laurie David, tried tying the global warming trend on Neptune to an evil plot that was hatched by the Rove-Bushco-Halliburton machine."

Yes, folks, from 1980 through 2004, the planet Neptune experienced a significant amount of...GLOBAL WARMING!! (via Hot Air) Oh, and so did the planet Mars. So tell me, how many SUV's does the average citizen of these planets own? Are they enough to contribute to the shrinking ice caps on Mars? And where is Al "Chicken Little" Gore when these planets need them?

UPDATE: Originally I said that it was Mercury that was also experiencing "global warming". My bad. It was, indeed, Mars. I stand corrected.