15 June 2007

Dictionary of Liberalism

Following are the true definitions of many words and phrases. Will be updated occasionally.

Carbon offsets (CAR-bun OFF-sets) n. A way for rich liberals to assuage their guilt about the contributions their SUV's make to "global warming". (See also Ordering a Diet Coke with your Double Whopper and large fries.)

Dhimmi (ZHIM-ee) n. A person who kowtows to Islamists, and encourages others to do the same. They are ususally used by Islamic extremists for political gains against the people they wish to kill. (See also Nancy Pelosi, Jimmy Carter.)

Dinosaur (DI-nuh-sor) n. A big, huge animal that used to rule its environment, but was too slow, stubborn and sluggish to change and adapt, thus ushering in its extinction. (See also New York Times, SeeBS News, Time Magazine.)

Global Warming (glo-BULL WARM-ing) n. The invention of a bunch of "scientists" who want to make you feel guilty for everything you do. One of the latest ploys by the liberal left to bring about the end of western civilization. (See also AlGore, ManBearPig, junk science.)

Liberal (LIB-er-al) n. A person who supports "freedom of speech" as long as they agree with what you're saying. If not, then it's "offensive" and should be outlawed, even though they think that "offensive" speech is protected by the Constitution. (See also Political Correctness.)

New Mexico (NOO MEX-i-co) n. A country bordered by the Atlantic Ocean, the Pacific Ocean, Canada, and the Rio Grande River. It was formerly known as the United States of America.

Truther (TROO-ther) n. Someone who clings desperately to a fading hope that President Bush might have known somebody who knew someone else who went to school with someone who once hired one of the 9/11 terrorists to work at his Tastee-Freeze. So, yes, it was Bush's fault. (See also Rosie O'Donnell, Charlie Sheen, Ron Paul.)

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