24 July 2008

Fake Translation of the Week--Acts 5:40-42

(Real translation here)

There are people who think that when you follow Christ, all the world will applaud your decision, that all your troubles will end, life will be a bed of roses, your life will be filled with health, wealth, and prosperity, and you will experience Your Best Life Now!© (read the John MacArthur quote under the blog title for more on that)


Tell that to the apsotles, who were beaten, imprisoned, scourged, shackled, left for dead, driven out of every town they went to. Oh, I guess they must have been under a curse, or had some unconfessed sin in their life, or their faith wasn't strong enough.

But, for those who think we deserve a comfortable life because we belong to Christ, take out your Sharpies® and your Exacto® knives, and start creating your own Bible.

Altered text in bold italics

Acts 5:40-42 (Comfortable Life Translation)--40 and when they had called for the apostles and beaten them, they commanded that they should not speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. 41 So they departed from the presence of the council, complaining that they were better than that, and they didn't deserve the treatment they received. After all, they were Christians, and they are entitled to all the rewards and benefits thereof 42 And daily in the temple, and in every house, they ceased teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ, just so they didn't offend anyone.

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