21 June 2007

Words of wisdom, from Jesse Duplantis

Think Jesse is ah-NOIN-ted? Well, he's got a spirit alright. Whether it's the Holy Spirit or not...

Check out these quotes I found at Forgotten Word:
"I've never had the Lord say, 'Jesse, I think that car is a little bit too nice.' I've had vehicles and the Lord said, 'Would you please go park that at your house. Don't put that in front of my house. I don't want people to think that I'm a poor God.'" (Jesse Duplantis, "When Will We Yield To The Anointing of Wealth II," April 10, 2005)

Jesse Duplantis: "People told me, 'Well, they say, Jesus was poor.' When was He poor? I would like to know when He was poor.
[Uh, Jesse. Look at Matthew 8:20--"And Jesus saith unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head."] Well, He was born in a stable. Why? Why was He born in a stable? Because that short, deaf lady lost their reservation. [I guess we can find that in the Book of...] He couldn't get into the inn. Think about that for a minute...And He had 12 full time people on His staff. [And did He pay them? No.] Some were married and He took care of them. [???] He had 70 part timers. You don't gamble for rags Marcus."
Marcus Lamb: "Yeah."
Jesse Duplantis: "You don't gamble for rags. You gamble for some clothes that cost. Don't you? He wanted a donkey that had never been rode. As I said earlier, 'You might want a car that has never been drove.'
Marcus Lamb: "He had a full time treasurer on staff."
Jesse Duplantis: "That's right! And stole for three years and the other guys didn't know about it."
Joni Lamb: "And wise men came to see Him."
Jesse Duplantis: "That's right! I mean He wasn't three minutes on the ground and the three wise guys are looking for Him with what? Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh. Let me tell you something, this concept that Jesus was in poverty is totally wrong!" (Jesse Duplantis, Marcus Lamb, and Joni Lamb, Daystar Fall, "Share-A-Thon," September 15, 2004)

"If I give $1,000 dollars I deserve to get back $100,000 because I am just, that's not greed!" (Jesse Duplantis, December 19, 2003 TBN, "The just shall live by faith.")

"When I began to feel weak, the angel walked over to one of those trees, picked some of its fruit and brought it back to me. . .The angel said to me, "Eat this fruit so you will be able to withstand the glory of God." (Jesse Duplantis, from a revival in Arkansas, 1988.)
[Uhhh, fruit in heaven?? Because we get weak? HUH?]

"I felt weaker and weaker as we approached the Throne room. It looked to me like millions of people were there. . .When the light from the Throne hit me I couldn’t stand up; I fell down, and the angel gave me more of the fruit. . .I look up from the floor in the direction of the overwhelming Light, and I saw Him! I saw Elohim, Jehovah God, Yahweh sitting on the Throne! But I saw His feet - only His feet. . . He is so big - you can’t describe Him in a dimension. His hand is huge! His body, the form of it, is sort of like energy, spirit. [Uhhh...if he could only see GOD's feet, how could he describe His hands and body???] There’s a wall around the Throne, but the Throne is higher than the wall - that’s why you can see the Throne from every direction, from a distance. And that power, that energy-like smoke of God, covers all around the chair of the Throne itself." (ibid.)
Hooo-weee! That's some rev-uh-lay-uh-shun they-uh Brutha Jess-eh!

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