Congratulations, Mike Nifong!

You have earned yourself a one-way ticket out of the legal profession! You are now free to pursue your career at the local Popeye's Chicken and Bisucits®. Just remember, when you're asking the guys on the Duke Lacrosse team, "Would you like fries with that?", you can puff your chest, knowing that you earned it!"

A state ethics panel on Saturday disbarred Michael B. Nifong, the Durham district attorney who pursued a false accusation of sexual assault against three Duke University lacrosse players, shortly after Mr. Nifong said through his lawyer that he thought disbarment was appropriate.

Mr. Nifong, who had surprised his lawyers Friday by announcing plans to resign, offered to have his license revoked and waive the right to appeal after the panel ruled Saturday that he had been dishonest or deceitful toward a judge and defense lawyers over DNA results.

David B. Freedman, one of Mr. Nifong’s lawyers, said in an interview, “He wants this over. He wanted the process to play out and to receive a fair hearing, and he believes he has received a fair hearing and accepts the findings of the commission.”

Mr. Freedman said Mr. Nifong had been “devastated” by the testimony.

Poor thing! Maybe he should have thought about that before he tried to railroad three kids who committed a lapse in judgment, but not a crime. So, he was "devastated" by the testimony. And we're supposed to feel sorry for him? Did he ever consider that the kids he tried to Shanghai were "devastated" by his false accusations?

Nifong resigns!

Mikey "I tried to put three innocent kids in prison and all I got were these lousy ethics charges" Nifong has resigned as DA for Durham, NC. Hearing the news, many people who have never committed a crime, but feared that Nifong may drum up some charges against them anyway, rejoiced. They have a video of the future McDonald's employee over at Hot Air, along with this quote:

“It has become increasingly apparent, during the course of this week, in some ways that it might not have been before, that my presence as the district attorney in Durham is not furthering the cause of justice,” Nifong said.

Mikey, you probably wouldn't know justice if it slapped you with a civil suit, criminal charges, or disbarment. But it would be fun to see. Dispecable!

Nifong: rhymes with "duh"

Well, it's official. Mikey "I've got half a mind to...oh, wait. I've only GOT half a mind" Nifong (OK, I'm stretchin. I'm running out of material here, folks) should be on his way to shaking hands with the knob on the exit door.

They say you're known by the company you keep. Well, one is also known by the people who come out to defend you. And Mikey has, in his corner, none other than the man who helped Al Sharpton write the script for the Tawana Brawley non-rape case. (hat tip: Hot Air) Friends, I couldn't make this stuff up. These people just keep writing great material for us Right-wing bloggers. Oy.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye!!

It seems like Mikey "OK, since there's no case, I'll need a special prosecutor to invent one" Nifong has decided it's time to ride off into the sunset (hat tip: Real Clear Politics) on the Tawana Brawley Duke stripper case. But, not content to just drop the case and move on to something more important (like, bringing false accusations against a Duke basketball player), he has decided that what this case really needs is.....a SPECIAL PROSECUTOR.

Well, I hope Mikey's 401k is in good shape, because he's going to need it to pay off the settlement these boys are going to get once their lawyers get done with him.

Nifong--rhymes with "dead wrong", "long gone", "ding-dong"...

Uh oh, poor Mikey. He's fixin' to get his head handed to him by the NC Bar Association. Can't wait till he gets his 15 minutes to cry his heart out on Oprah, his sympathetic interview with Katie Couric, and a pat on the back from Matt Lauer on the Today show. Maybe he can join a reputable law firm, filled with men and women of integrity. Like, maybe, Rose Law Firm in Arkansas?