Real translation here
In light of the fact that the (abominable) Church of England has gone full circle around the bend and set fire to their Bibles, and will now be preaching from "The Origin of Species," I thought it fitting to take a fine-point black Sharpie™ and scriible through what the first chapter of Genesis says about God creating man, and revise it to fit the heresy and blasphemy that is coming from Rowan Willams (altered text in bold italics):
26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; but first, let's make some monkeys, that we will let go through many changes over billions of years. Yeah, I know, we won't actually be creating man, but we don't have to tell anybody. That smart-apple Darwin guy's gonna come along and show people, so let's just keep it our little secret for now, M'k?”
27 So God created monkeys in His own image; in the image of God He created monkeys; ape and chimpanzee He created them.
