"GASP!! Did you hear what Tony Dungy said???"
"Yes."
"GASP!! He said that he's against gay marriage!!"
"Yes. He said what he thinks. So?"
"GASP!! Well, well, he doesn't have any right to say that!!"
"Huh? I thought that's what the First Amendment was for?"
"GASP!! NO, you've got it all wrong!! The First Amendment is only for people who hate this country!! People like Natalie Maines, and Michael Moore, and the ACLU, and people who want to break windows and smear feces all over the inside of an army recruiter's office!!"
"OK, let me explain something. Tony Dungy is a good Christian man. He believes what the Bible says about marriage being between one man and one woman. He was simply expressing his beliefs, much like anybody else."
"GASP!! But, the Bible doesn't say anything about gay marriage!!"
"Oy gevalt. OK, let me show you something: In Matthew 19:3-6,
"The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."See that, how it says, "wife", not "WIVES"? Now, I know that King David had many wives, and so did King Solomon. But they were both punished by GOD for those transgressions. And besides..."
"GASP!! So!! Those Bible verses don't say anythong about..."
"Now, now now, just hold your horses. In Romans 1:26-27, Paul writes
For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.
"GASP!! So!! What does all that mean???"
"Well, what it means is that GOD intended marriage to be between ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN. And that homosexuality is a sin. Besides, no matter what you say, Tony Dungy has a right to say what he wants to. I mean, why is it that people who are FOR gay marriage can speak out about what they think, but as soon as somebody disagrees with them, there is this humongous outcry from the left, saying that we who believe the truth of the Bible shouldn't say what we believe? I mean, why should we be silent? The ACLU isn't silent about pushing their homosexual agenda."
"What homosexual agenda?"
"Uh, This one."
[crickets chirping]
[leaves rustling]
"Well?"
"BUSH LIED PEOPLE DIED!!!!!!!! GLOBAL WARMING!!! CARBON FOOTPRINT!!! AAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!"
